Accountant Counting some sheep
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and so he decides to go to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night," complains the man.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" inquired the doctor.
The accountant replied, "That's the problem, Doc. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I.R.S. phone calls
The following are actual phone calls made to I.R.S. offices across the United States.
Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.
IRS: Are you married?
Caller: Well, sort of...
IRS: What?
Caller: Well, we did get married, but we're not counting on it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.
IRS: What does it say?
Caller: Just a minute, I'll open it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: I'm a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.
IRS: Both. It's the same amount.
Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?
IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value.
Caller: It's very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a lot more.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Accountant and farmer
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Stopping to rest, he tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."
The shepherd thinks it over. It's a big flock, so he takes the bet.
The man looks around and answers, "869." The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right.
The shepherd says, "Okay, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." The man picks one up and begins to walk away.
"Wait," cries the shepherd, "let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." The man agrees.
"You are an accountant for the government," says the shepherd.
"Amazing!" responds the man. "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you."
0 comments:
Post a Comment